From Sludgy Motmot, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  11. May I suggest that you try to put together something in writing explaining the differences between your expectations and wishes for this way of life and the way it has actually become, and then include suggestions for a new and more balanced approach in which you are allowed, within certain limits, to question and discuss, but always with the understanding that, once those limits have been reached, the last word remains strictly his? If you look around at this site and others on the internet, you will no doubt be able to find accounts from people who have gone through similar experiences and have managed to revaluate and resolve them, and these could be a useful addition to support your own explanation.
  13. If you could then give this to your husband to read and consider, while making it clear that you need to hear his point of view also, it might make the basis for a new approach to the whole thing which would lead to more contentment and fulfillment for you both.
  15. Regards,
  17. Ros
  19. by Ros on 2005 Feb 6 - 01:39 | reply to this comment
  20. Response to Too Much of a Good Thing
  21. Amelia's article is distressing. Obviously things are going in a direction she didn't intend. Playing with power is intoxicating; it sounds like fun, but please note, the root of that word is 'toxic'. This is what frequently happens when one puts themselves in the hands of someone who never really 'got it' in terms of understanding the dynamics of power exchange.
  23. If she suspects she's created a monster, well, it appears she has. Providing he doesn't show up at her bedside with a hockey mask and a chain-saw, there is a way out. The alpha and omega of this dilemma is simple: this is a game for grown-ups. One needs to get a grip. No one has any business entering into a power exchange relationship unless he or she is strong enough to take responsibility for what he or she is doing. If the relationship is going where one doesn't want it to go, change it or end it. One can change it by expressing his or her position in specific terms - emphasizing the use of monosyllabics, and telling the truth. If that doesn't work, one is in the wrong relationship.