From Melodic Meerkat, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  11. nds like you've had a really rotten time. I think the trouble with that 'Surrendered Wife' book is that it advocates a very extreme and bizarre form of submission which not everyone can handle. The idea that a man who is offered total submission will respond with kindness and thoughtfulness is a very nice one, but it ain't necessarily so. I hope you have better luck next time.
  13. by Louise C on 2005 Apr 13 - 16:51 | reply to this comment
  14. Forcing it
  15. Reading this topic, a little late in the day, the impression I get is of someone forcing it when he isn't really hard wired to take someone in hand. Thus it becomes a pretence and he takes it too far and becomes abusive, where instead with caring dominant men I have found the desire to keep their submissive partner happy as important as getting their own way.
  17. For me it mustn't be put on. I have always been submissive and prefer men who have never had to learn or change but from the word go simply related naturally dominant with women.
  19. It is not possible merely by an act of will to stop caring that the other person doesn't want to marry you. You might be able to change your view of things such that you to not any longer find marriage a sign of real commitment, but only through reasoned thought, and only if the other person really is committed. Much unease in these situations is because the other person is actually not committed.
  21. Unfortunately, one can't make oneself feel committed by an act of will. (See also: I want it all, and I want it now!.)
  23. by Sarah Cavendish on 2005 Jun 1 - 15:44 | reply to this comment
  24. Non-marriage can be more committal
  25. I perceive several things awry with the typical, romantic, viewpoint of marriage.
  26. When one gets married because one is in love, the marriage is because of love. If the love wanes or changes (as it so often does over the years) this is directly related in the mind to the marriage. There becomes no difference between "our relationship isn't good" and "our marriage isn't good". So when the point is reached of "I don't feel love for you anymore" this translates directly into a termination of the marriage.